T A B L E_T A L K Do you use local public transportation when you travel? Share your favorite adventure stories in the Wanderlust area of Table Talk R E C E N T L Y Going native in Mongolia By Julie Vallone A horseback journey across the Mongolian steppes becomes an odyssey through time (10/18/98) Señor Gringo By Maxine Schur An innocent encounter turns crazy for two travelers and a heartbroken, gun-toting Mexican sheriff (10/16/98) This week in travel Wanderlust's selective guide to travel-related news (10/16/98) Herbal ecstasy By Mark Jenkins By the spoonful, a restaurant in Singapore supposedly cures everything from sexual ennui to diabetes (10/15/98) A two-wheel tour of Holland By Cynthia Gorney A vacationing family finds pleasure and peril among a nation of bicyclers (10/14/98) Browse the Wanderlust Feature archives Wanderlust's Official Travel Book Partner S A L O N E M P O R I U M FREE! 12-ounce bag of Salon Blend with a purchase of $30 or more. While supplies last.		--------------------------Contrary to popular lore, sometimes casual sex ------------is just what a woman traveler wants. BY LEAH KOHLENBERG | It's hard to imagine that any woman would take Melvin Wong seriously, let alone sleep with him. Yet the paunchy, scruffy, middle-aged Asian man staring down at me from "Wanted" posters scattered throughout backpacker guest houses in Southeast Asia apparently held an uncanny sexual power over Western women. Many female tourists fell for Melvin hard enough to become hypnotically entranced, have unprotected sex with him and give him their credit cards. The handwritten billboards described all of this in imperfect but earnest English, and listed the name of a police department in some Nordic country to contact with more information. Frankly, I'm not so sure Melvin exists. My theory is that this would-be Asian Don Juan is a phantom dogging all us female travelers. He's both punishment and predator, a warning that the realm of one-night stands is an exclusively male domain. Why? Because acting on the libido is about power (as well as fun). And that is still a club with the sign "No Girls" on the door. The best stories we hear from men about their on-the-road adventures often involve sex or its pursuit. In fact, it seems to be part of the male proving ground, where the "real men" are separated from the boys. "The women loved us there," proclaimed a not-at-all bashful American male friend after a recent trip to a Philippine beach. Likewise, there was no guilt or shame in another Western man's description of the casual sex he'd had with a local woman whom he'd met -- and who had propositioned him -- just 20 minutes beforehand. When another male friend once told the story of a prostitute who offered herself to him for free, it inspired only spirited chuckles. But the sexual exploits we hear involving women and travel usually are delivered in a somber style -- we're much more likely to fall in love, have our hearts broken or (horrors!) become sexually enslaved if we mess about with sex, according to popular lore. I was once told the story of a hapless British woman traveling alone in Indonesia who fell in love with a Balinese man. He got her hooked on heroin and beat her until, after a long time, she finally managed to escape. Oh, come on. Maybe the story is true. But this girl might well have been stupid enough to get involved with the same kind of guy in the U.K. Why is it that the actions and experiences of a few women color the image of all female kind? The unconscious message, it seems, is that women who get involved in sexual play of any kind while on vacation will pay for it later. Behave, little girl, or Melvin Wong will get you. The news flash? Girls wanna have fun, too. "It just seemed like the right thing to do," said a female relative of mine of her one-night stand with a fellow traveler in Europe. Some of my best travel stories are about sexual adventures (and misadventures), and so far, there has been no heartbreak or sexual enslavement. Take what started out as an innocent request for an interview one cold March evening in a bar in Ulan Bator, the capital city of the Mongolian People's Republic. I was working on a story about the Mongolian economy, which is currently in transition from serving as a Soviet satellite state to becoming a free market, giving rise not only to a stock exchange and private businesses, but also to a booming trade for ladies of the evening. An interview with a prostitute, I thought, would add some needed color to the piece. Unfortunately, the prostitute I picked was a nice enough girl, but not particularly cooperative. It became clear after a few drinks on my tab that she would not admit to being a prostitute (she professed to a career as a film student). She also began, to my complete surprise, to flirt with me. She asked me to dance, cuddled up next to me at the bar, fluttered her eyelashes and made stimulating comments like, "I got paid $20 to pose naked." "Do you think she likes me?" I asked my friend who'd joined us that evening, an expatriate who had lived in Mongolia for more than a year. "Nahhh," he said, "I don't think they go for that sort of thing. The Mongolians are just very friendly, and women are often very close." He gestured to other bored prostitutes, who were dancing with each other in giggly clenches. It wasn't until a male Mongolian wrestler, well-soused and built like a brick wall, tried to cajole me into dancing with him that she staked her claim. As I sat with the wrestler on one side of me, his hand on my knee, I felt the prostitute's hand slip up my other knee. "Did you notice she's got her hand on my knee?" I asked my host. "Really?" he said. And then I felt something wet on my ear that made me jump. "She's got her tongue in my ear," I said in a calm, but urgent tone. At which point we quickly extricated ourselves from both of their clutches and dashed out of the bar, giggling. No, I didn't have sex with her and/or the wrestler and become victimized or get hooked on Mongolian vodka (the stuff tastes like gasoline anyway). The prostitute's advances were kind of sweet, actually, in a quirky way. And it became a funny story to tell later on. N E X T+P A G E | Women's affairs are more interesting - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - PHOTO © LINDSAY GRAHAM