Salon.com sex | 31 Ejaculations: No. 13

Search About Salon Table Talk Newsletters Advertise in Salon Investor Relations


	Search Articles by date All of Salon.com



	Arts & Entertainment Books Business Comics Health Mothers Who Think News People Politics Sex Technology - Free Software Project Letters Columnists Table Talk Salon Plus Salon Shop Salon Radio



	Table Talk [Freewheeling Salon forums] Legislating (as opposed to legislative) sex Bearing children -- legal right, privilege or responsibility? Whipped cream and other delights So -- what's your kinkiest anecdote or fantasy? Tuned in and turned on Who are the sexiest television personalities? Posts of the week The Well [Pioneering members-only discussions] Ikea furniture: A socialist plot? Sound Off E-mail Salon Send us a Letter to the Editor Today's letters


	Newsletter Sign up to receive free e-mail updates from Salon -- now in 12 different varieties! Downloads Get Salon.com on your PDA Salon.com headlines from My Netscape More ways to get Salon

31 Ejaculations: No. 13
I get up in the morning and my balls are so blue I almost can't walk.

- - - - - - - - - - - -
By Eric Bogosian

June 19, 2000 | Being married has its upside for sure. I love sleeping next to a warm body. But man, some days, it's hard to get my nut. She's on her work schedule. I'm on mine. We don't see each other awake. Or we have a night together but the bills have just come in, so we've been nagging each other for hours. We can light as many scented candles as we want -- we're still tense.

So to make a long story short, I get up in the morning and my balls are so blue I almost can't walk. And she's sleeping and I want to just slip it into her right there and not even wake her. But let's face it, that's not going to happen. So I do what I have to do. Get in that shower, soap it up and pound it. Pound it fast and pound it sure. Get that release. Squeeze those little critters out of my third leg and onto the wall. If you catch my drift. It's like blowing my nose, or like getting an enema. I mean it's something I have to do in the morning, or I'm no good at work all day. It's a health thing.

Print story

E-mail story

Backflip this article to find it again

Read No. 14

salon.com | June 19, 2000

- - - - - - - - - - - -

About the writer
Eric Bogosian is an actor and writer. His solo shows include "Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll" and "Wake Up and Smell the Coffee." His novel "Mall" will be published by Simon & Schuster in November.

Sound Off
Send us a Letter to the Editor

Salon.com >> Sex

	Shop for books in the Salon Shop More great offers in Salon Plus






	Current Stories Butts: That's a wrap! As the porn industry reels from an HIV scare, "gonzo" king Seymore Butts announces a condom-only policy. He tells Salon why. By Scott Lamb Mike Ditka wants to help you score TV ads for impotency drugs are targeting sports fans and beer drinkers, and they have a new message: If you're not taking a pill to help your sex life, you're not a real man. By David Amsden Happily married couples gone wild! Middle-aged Penthouse Forum has become an improbable voice for family values -- as long as you turn your wife over to the cable guy. By Betsy Andrews England swings Old Britannia puts prudish America to shame, with chic vibrator stores as ubiquitous as Gaps and sex-toy parties thrown by a royal granddaughter. By Kamy Wicoff

Private Life Romance, relationships, and the personal side of Table Talk