The tired and the randy in business class can crawl under the covers on long flights, provided they're willing to plunk down 6,000 British pounds (per airborne couple) for an 80-inch-long double bed, surrounded by screens.

Although the crew may enter the cabin areas for safety checks during take-off and landing, Branson said that couples would be left to come up with their own in-flight entertainment (eschewing the movie could mean a combined headset rental savings of $10 or more!). That's fine with Virgin flight attendants. "I think there could be a few red faces unless we are very careful," said one sensible stewardess.

"I guess you could say the legitimate mile-high club is finally born," quipped jet-setting Branson, who launched the new development following an international flight of mystery from London to Amsterdam. After winking that business-class passengers would each get a "bear" to sleep with, Branson pulled back his bedclothes to reveal blond British TV babe Dani Behr.

"How was it for you, Dani?" he asked.

"Great, thanks," she replied, obliquely referring to the smooth flight.

Oh, Mr. Branson, behave!

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Delightfully and delicately put, Dee Dee dear

"If I could squeeze out a kid or two between now and whenever it's too late, that would be great."

-- Former White House press secretary and ever articulate spinmistress Dee Dee Myers on starting a family with her husband, New York Times writer Todd Purdum, in an upcoming issue of USA Weekend

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And the wind cries "Andy"?

It's too late for Jimi Hendrix, but if you're planning on kicking off before your parents, you might want to instruct them not to share cute little tidbits from your childhood in your biography -- no matter how sweet and endearing they think the world will find them.

Hendrix's dad, Al Hendrix, has written a book quaintly called "My Son Jimi" in which he messes with the legendary guitarists hard-livin' rep by disclosing a slew of cheek-pinchingly adorable factoids about li'l Jimi. (Hey, Al, where you goin' with that pen in your hand?)

For instance, if you want the real Jimi Hendrix experience, you'll plunk down in front of your TV and watch reruns of "The Andy Griffith Show." That's right, before his "Purple Haze" days, Jimi was a big fan of the small-town sheriff and his friends. Al says he especially loved the whistling theme song and title sequence in which Andy and Opie saunter back from the fishing hole.

And the musician cut his guitar-playin' teeth on comedian Jonathan Winters' silly voices, which Jimi used to imitate and, Al says, may have led him to make weird sounds with his guitar. Thanks, Al, for providing a sugary new angle on the man we all thought embodied wild, woolly psychedelia. The rest of you, please, excuse me while I kiss this guy.

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Fergie: Royally screwed and put out to pasture

"I have been killed and betrayed and sabotaged. Have you seen 'The Horse Whisperer'? I feel like the horse."

-- Sarah "Fat-fighting Fergie" Ferguson, Duchess of York, recently ruminating on the trauma she suffered at the hands of her royally rude ex-in-laws

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Juicy bits

Here's a jagged little pill for Alanis Morissette to swallow. Her latest album, "Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie," has been voted worst CD of the year by her formerly most devoted fans: young women in their late teens and early 20s. (Well, girls, as Alanis herself once said, you oughta know.) The deep-thinking readers of that bastion of intellectualism Jane magazine (OK, fine, I admit it -- I read it, but only for the articles) have bestowed the dubious distinction of "CD Most Likely to Be Used as a Small Frisbee" on Morissette's latest endeavor. You can stop pointing and laughing any time now, Fiona Apple; you're next!

And you thought Times Square was already ruined! Now comes a bronze, life-sized singing statue of Frank Sinatra.-- scheduled to be unveiled Dec. 12, 2000, which would have been his 85th birthday. Press a button on the Chairman of the Board's base and you'll hear him croon classics like "Strangers in the Night" and "New York, New York." Then again, big-tempered, dubiously connected Ol' Blue Eyes was one guy whose buttons I'm not sure I'd ever want to push.

Break out the celebratory cigars! Monica Lewinsky is off the hook in Miami. A federal judge has dismissed the lawsuit filed by a Florida man who alleged that the thongstress owed taxpayers $40 million for the money spent investigating her samba of love with President Clinton. According to the judge, the plaintiff was unable to prove that Lewinsky had caused him direct financial harm. Now all those people who shelled out $24.95 for her syrupy book, they may have a claim.
salon.com | June 9, 1999

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