I will say, however, that there was no scarier moment all season than when the chilly Diana (Mimi Rogers), who suddenly shows up to care for a mysteriously ailing Mulder, grimly strips off her blouse and strides purposefully into his bedroom. Brrrr!

Funniest finale: The Simpsons (May 16, 1999, Fox) In a manic assault on the worst of two cultures, Homer dabbles in day trading at Springfield's new Internet cafe, he and Marge attend a "live frugally and become a millionaire" seminar, the Simpsons acquire cheap one-way plane tickets to Japan, and they spend their vacation insulting the locals, blow all their money on American fast food and then have to go on a sadistic Japanese game show to win passage home. God -- or Matt Groening -- was in the details in this one, with merciless send-ups of Bill Gates, Wired magazine, motivational speakers, Hello Kitty, Pokemon, the Japanese work ethic -- you name it. A great moment: Woody Allen, acting in a Japanese TV commercial, asks himself, once the camera stops rolling, "What did I do to deserve this?" A beat later, he remembers: "Oh, right."

Shortest goodbye: "Homicide" series finale (May 21, 1999, NBC) This episode became the series' swan song with NBC's announcement that the perennially ratings-challenged cop drama had been cancelled. Since it was written as an ending of sorts (original cast member Kyle Secor was leaving the show), it did manage to provide reasonable closure. When the series began in 1993, Secor's Tim Bayliss was supposed to be our guide through the underworld of this Baltimore police homicide squad. A new transfer to the department, Bayliss was green and eager, and murder still had the power to discombobulate him. Bayliss' personality changes over the show's run coincided with the changes in the show, as the producers dealt with the departures of actors and the constant threat of cancellation by tweaking cosmetic elements (more music, sexier female cops, younger, studlier male cops) and smoothing down the complex story lines. Over the past couple of seasons, Bayliss was a very mixed-up boy indeed, sleeping around, deciding he was bisexual, becoming estranged from his (work) partner Frank Pembleton, getting shot, becoming a Buddhist, killing a homeless man by mistake, quitting the force and, finally, taking justice into his own hands by tracking down and killing the scummy Internet sex killer he'd been chasing for half a season after the guy had his case dismissed on a technicality. Well, at least Bayliss got to leave on his own terms -- which, sadly, wasn't the case with "Homicide" itself.

Longest goodbye: "Mad About You" series finale (May 24, 1999, NBC) Is it over yet? Are they gone? Are they?

Worst finale, best performance: "Saturday Night Live" (May 16, 1999, NBC) "SNL" got funny again this season (catch the Ray Romano and Gwyneth Paltrow shows in rerun), but you wouldn't know it from this almost totally laugh-free season finale, hosted by Sarah Michelle Gellar. The exception: The opening bit with Ana Gasteyer and Will Ferrell as regular characters Bobbi Mohan-Culp and Marty Culp, the resolutely unhip middle-aged couple who "head up the music department over at Altadena Middle School" and whose tortured medleys of pop songs have been one of the treats of the past couple of seasons. Bespectacled, straight-backed Bobbi (she looks like a live-action Peggy Hill) warbles in a music teacher soprano holding her hands stiffly in front of her. Bald, Amish-bearded Marty gets funky at the electronic keyboard. The Culps saved their most hilariously incongruous medley for this last show. All I can say is, Sugar Ray's "Every Morning" and Fatboy Slim's "Praise You" will never be the same.
salon.com | June 1, 1999

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