Salon Directory › g › Garrison Keillor (321 stories)

Garrison Keillor

Page 1 of 13 oldest ⇒
The cheerful idiot The cheerful idiot
As the Current Occupant imagines his legacy emerging golden and shining in a hundred years after all of us are deceased, you and I go on.
By Garrison Keillor Jan 7, 2009
Christmas without translation Christmas without translation
When you don't understand the language, it's easier to find the dumb childlike wonder that's the essence of the season.
By Garrison Keillor Dec 24, 2008
"Do not flush while seated on toilet" "Do not flush while seated on toilet"
It would be easy to miss those seven simple words next to the flush button in the airliner bathroom. Pay attention, or ruin your life!
By Garrison Keillor Dec 17, 2008
A New York kind of holiday A New York kind of holiday
Christmas is all about pleasure, food, bright lights, high spirits, glittering trinkets, razzmatazz. It's pure Broadway.
By Garrison Keillor Dec 10, 2008
What were you thinking? What were you thinking?
Midwesterners usually go south to misbehave, not to the handicapped stall in a Minneapolis men's room at halftime.
By Garrison Keillor Dec 3, 2008
How I cope with the economic turndown How I cope with the economic turndown
With column revenues down, I must make some hard choices. I will now spend 15 minutes writing these 750 words. Thank you for your patience.
By Garrison Keillor Nov 26, 2008
The snow shovel is the secret of happiness The snow shovel is the secret of happiness
Winter is what we were meant for. Even we older guys in heart-attack country attack the snowdrifts for the sheer heroism of it.
By Garrison Keillor Nov 19, 2008
Wow! America is cool Wow! America is cool
We are being admired by Swedes! We don't have to pretend we're Canadians. We elected Barack Obama!
By Garrison Keillor Nov 12, 2008
The right stuff The right stuff
A toast to the Obamas as they enjoy a brief, golden moment before beginning the grueling business of disappointing their followers, astonishing their enemies and doing what is right for our country.
By Garrison Keillor Nov 5, 2008
Will Mr. Burly vote for Obama? Will Mr. Burly vote for Obama?
The thought of replacing the Current Occupant with the Angry Old Man of the Desert and Whoopee the Ice Queen is miserable in the extreme.
By Garrison Keillor Oct 29, 2008
Among the hardy Republicans Among the hardy Republicans
The citizens of Abilene, Texas, voted overwhelmingly to reelect Bush in '04. We've all done dumb things.
By Garrison Keillor Oct 22, 2008
Let the leader lead Let the leader lead
The American people are poised to do something that could not be imagined 10 years ago -- elect the best man president, regardless of his skin color.
By Garrison Keillor Oct 15, 2008
Juicing up the ticket Juicing up the ticket
Dishonest, cynical men put forward Sarah Palin for national office, but the truth emerges: The lady is talking freely about matters she has never thought about.
By Garrison Keillor Oct 8, 2008
Crash Crash
A day in which you've witnessed death takes on an aura of fragile loveliness.
By Garrison Keillor Oct 1, 2008
Where is the outrage? Where is the outrage?
John McCain decries greed on Wall Street and suggests a commission be formed to look into the problem. This is like Casanova coming out for chastity.
By Garrison Keillor Sep 24, 2008
Lighting out for the territories Lighting out for the territories
I'm thinking of heading north to escape the election. Maybe Alaska.
By Garrison Keillor Sep 17, 2008
George Bush with big hair George Bush with big hair
The hustling Evangelical with ethics issues and a chip on her shoulder could be our first woman president.
By Garrison Keillor Sep 10, 2008
Who wants to see Sarah Palin as the next president? Who wants to see Sarah Palin as the next president?
The Republicans are meeting down the hill from my house. What are they trying to say?
By Garrison Keillor Sep 3, 2008
Rolling with the punches Rolling with the punches
Californians remind me of Londoners. They're less jittery than the rest of us, and disaster doesn't terrify them.
By Garrison Keillor Aug 27, 2008
Meet me at the state fair Meet me at the state fair
Llama judging, deep-fried pineapple on a stick, hot tubs, acres of machinery -- it's all here for the taking at the annual carnival of ideas.
By Garrison Keillor Aug 20, 2008
Bring back community baths Bring back community baths
If we all got together naked in a steamy room and got sploshed with hot water and scrubbed down hard, we would be more civil people.
By Garrison Keillor Aug 13, 2008
It's an amazing country It's an amazing country
Where else could an Arizona multimillionaire attack a Chicago South Sider as an elitist and hope to make it stick?
By Garrison Keillor Aug 6, 2008
The trouble with John McCain The trouble with John McCain
Nobody is anxious to see another oldster dithering in the Oval Office.
By Garrison Keillor Jul 30, 2008
Little-town blues, melting away Little-town blues, melting away
Small gestures of civility in America's busiest city speak of the promise of better times.
By Garrison Keillor Jul 23, 2008
The livin' is easy The livin' is easy
In the sweetness of July, nothing seems to matter -- not high gas prices, the dumb New Yorker cover, nor the Fannie and Freddie bailout.
By Garrison Keillor Jul 16, 2008
Page 1 of 13    oldest ⇒
Salon Directory › g › Garrison Keillor (321 stories)

Daily Newsletter

Get Salon in your mailbox!